


at last

by marvinwhizzer



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Depression, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Rita & Juno Steel Friendship, buddy is the mom of the crew, gotta get this out of the workroom before s3 drops, juno Yearns, post-s2, this is like a few weeks after the end of s2 probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-10-14 21:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20607800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvinwhizzer/pseuds/marvinwhizzer
Summary: Juno and Peter make up.





	at last

**Author's Note:**

> come get yall Content.  
sorry im bad at titles/descriptions hgshgshs  
heres a Thing! whatever happens in s3 is gonna be infinitely better than what i can come up w so theres an expiry date on this and i need to post it while its still good lmao. enjoy

7:27AM. He stumbled into the kitchen, head pounding. He grabbed a handful of painkillers from the medicine cabinet, and poured himself a glass of water. Well, most of it made it into the glass. The counter, as Juno, was a mess. He was about to shovel the pills into his face when he heard _ her_.

"Juno, what the hell are you doing? Put those pills down."

"They're just painkillers, Bud."

"I don't care what they are, you shouldn't be taking anything in that quantity."

"I'm only taking three-"

"Juno, put the pills down or I will shoot them out of your hand."

Juno sighed, opening his hand to let the pills clatter to the wet countertop.

"I have a _ headache_, Buddy." Juno seethed with apparent annoyance. "Am I not a grown man to you? Am I not allowed to make any kind of decision? Do you think I would overdose on painkillers and kill myself in your kitchen? For no reason? Is that what this is about?"

"Juno, don't be so dramatic, but the short answer is: yes. You've proven to have very self-destructive tendencies. Jet, Darius, and I are just looking out for your well-being, you must know."

"Darius," Juno scoffed coldly. Nureyev had barely spoken to him since he'd arrived on the ship, save for their initial meeting, where he'd shushed him before he got the chance to say his name. "If _ Darius _ cares about me, he can tell that to me himself."

"Juno, you've barely given him a chance to speak to you, you always seem to be avoiding him. You won't even sit down for meals with us. We're all getting worried." Well, Vespa was more getting _ annoyed_, but she'd spare him that detail.

Juno didn't respond to that. Instead, he said, "I still have a splitting headache, Bud. Am I allowed to take a painkiller or not?"

"Take _ one,_" Buddy instructed, staring him down. "Any more than that is unnecessary; they are very strong."

Juno made a show of rolling his eye, and picked up a pill from the counter and swallowed it, along with a few glugs of water from the glass. He looked back up at Buddy, who was still staring at him.

"There. Happy? I haven't killed myself. Can you leave me alone now?"

"Fine. But you _ will _ come to breakfast in an hour. That's an order."

Juno sighed. "Alright."

"See you then."

Buddy stepped out of the room. Juno ran his hands through his hair, all kinds of irritated. Was he not allowed to do anything on his own in here? Buddy and Jet were acting like his goddamn babysitters, and he was getting real annoyed with it. Rita was kinda always trying to babysit him as well, but… it was different when she did it.

He didn't _ want _ to have another breakfast sitting next to _ Leroy Darius _ in total silence; he thought he might just explode if he had to. The two of them had had very little to talk about when the group was around, and it seemed that neither had the courage to seek each other out to talk in private. There was so much to say, but at the same time… nothing. They had loved each other, but left each other. Both things seemed silly in retrospect. 

But Juno couldn't _ take _ it any more. It was hard to even _ look _ at the man without feeling in pain. The guilt pooled in his stomach, and if he looked at those lips, he just _ yearned _ to touch them again, feel the sweet silkiness of a Peter Nureyev kiss — _ god_, he wanted that again. But he didn't know if it ever would happen again. He had probably ruined that possibility permanently.

Rita knew that _ Darius _ wasn't who he said he was. He was smart, but so was she. She had known him as Rex Glass years ago, and she wasn't so easily fooled. She had asked Juno about it on the first night and he'd given her what little explanation he could give.

Juno needed to change something, _ fix _ something, but he really didn't know how. Rita didn't know how to help him, either.

Juno went to go lie down on his bed for the 50 minutes he had left before Buddy forced him into another torture session of sitting in silence and listening to Nureyev chew in his ear. Maybe if she knew, she would go easier on him.

Juno must have fallen back asleep, because before he knew it, a knock at his door was startling him into consciousness. 

"Juno, darling," said a smooth, shy voice behind the door. "Breakfast is ready, if you're interested."

"I don't care if he's _ interested_," Buddy's voice could be heard faintly in the background. "He's _ coming._ He hasn't been at a meal in days and I need to see him eat _ something._"

"Coming," he groaned. He rose as quickly as he could and peered around the door to see if Nureyev was still there, but he had gone. "Avoiding him, my ass," Juno muttered.

He trudged into the dining area a few minutes later, where the table was being set by Jet and Rita. 

"Who cooked?" he asked, rubbing the uneven nap sleep from his eyes. "Vespa?"

"It was Vespa, boss! She's wonderful as a cook! She's not much for talkin', though. I think I was botherin' her a little bit."

"Of course you were," Juno smiled. He took his place at the table, next to Rita this time. There was still an empty place beside him that he was sure Nureyev would end up filling, but for now he could maybe hope for a different outcome.

"Didja see that meteor that passed us last night, Mistah Steel? It was _ huge _! Miz Buddy said that it was headin' towards that dwarf planet we stopped in for supplies on the other day. It's a good thing we were only there for a few hours, am I right, boss? I hope nobody got hurt."

"I didn't see it, no," Juno responded half-heartedly. He really wanted to listen to Rita, he _ really _ did, but Nureyev had just come into the room, and his heart was threatening to leap right out of his chest. He was dressed in a white button-up shirt, only buttoned up halfway and tucked neatly into a pair of high-waisted black pants, topped with a belt covered in precious gemstones. His hair was slicked back and shiny in the fluorescent ship lighting, and his dangly, diamond earrings glittered as he moved. Juno was sure everyone in the room could hear his heartbeat as it pounded in his ears.

"Mistah Steel?"

"Yeah, sure," Juno said, voice an octave higher than it was supposed to be. He was not sure what he was agreeing to.

Rita followed his gaze. Her face lit up with recognition. "Ohhhh, I get it, boss," she whispered to him. They watched Nureyev have a short conversation with Buddy in the doorway, before he ducked into the kitchen.

Juno let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "This is awful, Rita, you need to help me," he whispered frantically, turning in his chair to face her.

"Help you? How, boss?"

"I can't even be around him. I'm losing my _ mind. _ That's why I haven't been coming to meals. I swear I've been eating, I _ swear,_ I've been snagging leftovers from the kitchen, and I always eat the snacks you bring me. I just can't be around—"

Nureyev came back into the room, a tray of scrambled eggs and bacon in his hands. Beside him was Vespa who carried a pitcher of water. They were chatting lightly, each with smiles on their faces. Nureyev laughed, and it was like the sun was shining on his sparkly highlighted face.

"_Him_," Juno whispered, swallowing thickly. 

"You gotta talk to him, boss," Rita whispered. "You're bein’ dramatic! And you’re only makin' it harder on yourself by avoidin' him. You'll get used to bein' around him if you just let yourself do it."

Juno grimaced. He knew Rita was right. He needed to _ talk _ to Nureyev. But what was he supposed to say? He couldn't think of a single thing that wouldn't make him look like a fucking jackass.

Nureyev placed the food trays down in the middle of the table, and took a seat across from Juno, beside Vespa and Buddy. Jet took his place at the head of the table.

Juno watched Nureyev reach a manicured hand out to serve himself a plate of food. His fingernails were painted a soft, matte pink. Juno _ sweated_.

They all ate, and Rita continued to talk about meteors with Jet, Buddy, Vespa, and Nureyev. Juno made a point to stuff his face so that he wouldn't have to participate in the conversation. He knew Jet and Buddy would just be happy to see him eating seconds.

To Juno’s simultaneous delight and chagrin, Nureyev made no attempts to draw him into the conversation. He didn’t even _ look _ at him. Juno thought about the way he had called him _ darling _ earlier at his door. It was hard to tell if that was supposed to be a part of his persona, or if he really did just want to go back to the way they once were.

The relationship between Nureyev and Jet had seemed initially tense, and he appeared to have only been acquaintances with Buddy and Vespa before this arrangement, but they were all already getting along perfectly well, apparently. And everyone loved Rita. Juno was a definite outlier in his avoidant behaviour, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Nureyev was nervous to be around Juno as well. Juno couldn’t stand to be around Nureyev, but he couldn't stand _ not _ being around him much longer, either. And Nureyev was apparently waiting on him to make the first move.. He had to do _ something_, it seemed. But what the hell was he supposed to do?

When Juno had finished his _ third _ helping of scrambled eggs, he was at his limit for how much he could pretend to be too invested in the food to hold a conversation. Luckily, everyone else seemed to be finishing up. 

Jet thanked Vespa for the meal, and rose to leave. "Oh, and Juno, you are on dish duty," he said before exiting the dining room.

"What."

"You have been absent for a lot of meals," Buddy agreed. "I think it's your turn."

"Oh, whatever." Juno rose, and collected all the plates in a stack to bring to the kitchen. "Who'd've guessed that being an intergalactic criminal came with such mundane bullshit as _ dish duty_."

"I probably would've, actually."

Juno jumped, almost dropping the plates he was carrying. He whirled around to face _ Nureyev_, who was standing in the kitchen doorway, one arm against the door frame, looking casual, yet … awkward.

"I didn't mean to startle you, detective," he said. "My apologies."

"I just … didn't hear you come in, that's all." Juno set the dishes in the sink, and turned on the hot water.

"How have you been.. holding up lately, anyway? You haven't been at the last few group meals."

"Just fine, thanks," Juno grumbled, staring into the sink to avoid having to look at him.

"That's good to hear, I suppose."

They listened to the water run over the dishes for a few seconds of uncertain silence.

"Look, Juno, I—"

"No, you— you don't have to say anything. _ I _ messed up. _ I _ hurt _ you. _ All of that's on me. And I don't exactly know where I'm supposed to go from here, now. I kind of didn't think I'd ever see you again. And now you're here, but … I still don't know that I'm even getting a second chance."

Juno turned the water off, and the silence between them became palpable. It was almost unbearable.

"Well, is that what you want?" Nureyev's voice came eventually. "A second chance?"

Juno scrunched up his face. "I don't know what I want," he admitted quietly. His back was still turned to Nureyev. "I spent a lot of time being angry at you, but now that you're here, I…" 

He heard the sound of heels against the ship floor as Nureyev approached. He held his breath. The steps were slow, cautious. _ One, two, three, and_ he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"I think I'm willing to offer you a second chance, Juno," Nureyev said. His words were gentle, and his voice was soft — softer than Juno had ever heard it before. "If that's what you want."

Juno turned, and met his eyes finally. They were gentle, too, though full of pain.

"But I need you to make it abundantly clear what you want it to be a second chance _ at._"

"A- a second chance at loving you," Juno stuttered, breathless.

Nureyev looked back at him for the longest time, not saying a word. It was _ agony_. 

"Is that what _ you _ want?" Juno asked.

Nureyev looked like he didn't know what to say, which was rare for him. Shocking, almost. Juno probably would've been smug about it if the situation weren't so _ fragile_.

Nureyev blinked at him from behind his golden, thin-rimmed glasses. 

"Juno," he whispered.

"Nureyev."

"I want that so much."

Juno wasn't sure when they had gotten close enough that he could feel Nureyev's breath on his lips, but the whole world was spinning now and he wasn't sure of _ anything _ but how badly he wanted to close the gap between them.

Nureyev leaned in further, and Juno didn't have to yearn any longer. 

The kiss was everything he had ever wanted and _ more_. It had been so long since he'd gotten to experience the delicate, dangerous feeling of kissing Peter Nureyev. It was always a high that Juno never wanted to come down from.

"I'm sorry," Juno whispered as they pulled away. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm _ so _ sorry." He didn't know why the wave of emotion was hitting him all of a sudden, but it was here now and he couldn't get it to leave before he said the things that his heart needed to say. "I push people away because I'm _ afraid_, I was _ afraid_, I'm _ sorry._"

"I forgive you, Juno."

"I don't know if I deserve that or not."

"It's not about whether or not you deserve it."

Juno stared into Nureyev's eyes for a moment, speechless. 

"What matters is that the universe put you and I together again. We have a chance to put it all behind us now. I may never be able to take back the hurt I've caused you, and you may never be able to take back the hurt you've caused me, but we're here together, now, and that's what counts. And hopefully we'll be more on the same page, this time."

"Nureyev, I ... I don't know what to say. I was expecting more of an argument, I guess, after the way you'd been avoiding me."

"Ah, yes, well..." Nureyev scratched his head, looking a little nervous. "I was admittedly a little shaken up when I saw you again. And a little bit angry. But there'd be no point in treating you cruelly, now. I've cooled off. The way you were looking at me tonight definitely … altered my perspective, a little bit."

"The way I— _ what_?"

Nureyev chuckled to himself. "Nothing to worry about, Juno, darling."

Juno shuddered at the petname. He had had one too many dreams about being swept off his feet by Nureyev again, and had forgotten what it actually felt like. It was like _ nothing _else. Nureyev clearly wasn't oblivious to the effect he had on him, either. He was pretty smug about it, in fact.

"Come, now," he whispered against Juno's lips, and Juno sighed into him once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Jet, coming into the kitchen 5 minutes later: 😐 this doesn't look like dish duty
> 
> im bad at endings too but here u go heres this, hope it made you Yearn
> 
> S3 SOON GET HYPE


End file.
